Gold Stars and Guilt Trips: The Hidden Cost of Being the "Good Girl"

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Absolutely, let’s meet for coffee to talk about it.”

“I don’t need anything, I’m fine.”

She’s kind, polite, never says no. 

She is losing her god. damn. mind. 

No one called it survival. They called it being a "good girl."

She learned to be accommodating, polite, easy and helpful. Nice girls don’t rock the boat. Nice girls pay attention in school, get good grades and don’t cause their parents problems. 

Nice women do the work, they don’t complain, they don’t take for themselves, they make sure everyone else has what they need. Self-care sounds selfish. 

No one taught her how to take, only to give. 

So she slowly abandons herself in the service of others. Her value becomes what she does for everyone except herself. She takes pride in how giving she is, but has forgotten how alive and vibrant she used to feel. She remembers racing her bike as a kid, cheeks stinging from the wind, feeling completely alive. Somewhere along the way, she stopped asking what made her feel that way. 

But she’s still in there, that wild woman, the one that used to shout NO and stomp her foot before she learned that it’s not polite. Inside that placid, accommodating woman is the part of her that yearns to take something and call it her own. She was abandoned but not forgotten. 

She isn't waiting to be rescued.

She's waiting to be remembered.